I am Alice Margatroid

April 8, 2010

one of those you had to be there moments

Sakuya Izayoi says: hi alice I'm busy omg
Sakuya Izayoi says: gotta get ready to go out and EAT SUSHI
Alice Margatroid says: omg feed me
Sakuya Izayoi says: EAT MY
Sakuya Izayoi says: D
Sakuya Izayoi says: PADS
Sakuya Izayoi says: Hey
Sakuya Izayoi says: look
Sakuya Izayoi says: a birn
Sakuya Izayoi says: BIRD
Sakuya Izayoi says: WHATHE FUCK
Sakuya Izayoi says: IT CAME OUT AS BIRN
Sakuya Izayoi says: ALICE HELP ME
Sakuya Izayoi says: Also twitter is bein sloowwww
Alice Margatroid says: birn
Sakuya Izayoi says: nyad
Alice Margatroid says: myad
Alice Margatroid says: mayd
Sakuya Izayoi says: KICK
Sakuya Izayoi says: PUNCH
Sakuya Izayoi says: IT'S AL IN THE NUTS
Alice Margatroid says: wow al
Alice Margatroid says: what is he doing there
Sakuya Izayoi says: Al
Sakuya Izayoi says: Alvin
Sakuya Izayoi says: and
Sakuya Izayoi says: the Cheap Monks
Alice Margatroid says: this aint no shao lin monk
Sakuya Izayoi says: I'm a Dong monk
Sakuya Izayoi says: DOG
Sakuya Izayoi says: DOG
Sakuya Izayoi says: FUCK
Alice Margatroid says: haha
Alice Margatroid says: oh god
Alice Margatroid says: what is wrong with you
Sakuya Izayoi says: i dunno
Sakuya Izayoi says: typing is being bad
Sakuya Izayoi says: today
Sakuya Izayoi says: sorry
Alice Margatroid says: this is going into tumblr
Sakuya Izayoi says: NO
Sakuya Izayoi says: NO IT'S NOT
Sakuya Izayoi says: FCKASS
Sakuya Izayoi says: FUCKASS
Sakuya Izayoi says: GODADAMIT
Sakuya Izayoi says: GODDAMN IT
Sakuya Izayoi says: NASPOFDHAIKNFS

January 28, 2010

Sakuya Izasleep-talking. Time was frozen for Sakuya, because he insisted he wasn't sleeping!

[skype call, paraphrased]
---
Alice: (normal conversation stuff)
Sakuya: ...There's... a fat woman who owns a video store.
Alice: ...... what video store?
Sakuya: I broke her desk... I broke her desk.
Alice: Why did you break her desk?
Sakuya: I don't know. I don't know. I was chased by some people.
Alice: People?
Sakuya: They have radios in their right arm. They were talking.
Alice: About what?
Sakuya: I... don't remember.
Alice: Are you going to fix her desk?
Sakuya: ...No. No. I'm not going to fix her desk. I don't even know who she is.
[short silence]
Sakuya: There's go-karts.
Alice: Go-karts?
Sakuya: It's red... someone was on it, but I'm not sure who.
Alice: Do you like go-karts?
Sakuya: [thinking pause] No... I don't like go-karts.
Alice: Why not? Too fast for you?
[Sakuya wakes up for a short moment... but falls asleep again in two sentences.]
Sakuya: [pause] Everyone... plays on the arcade machine.
Alice: Arcade? Do you like arcades?
Sakuya: ...the arcade machine... everyone is just like... Space Shooter...
Alice: (...?)
Sakuya: ... I was... just thinking about eel, getting caught, being cooked served on pizza... wait, what? Eel?
[Sakuya wakes up just enough again, but soon starts sleep talking once more.]
Sakuya: The... forest is pretty big. Pretty... Why am I talking about a forest?
[Sakuya really wakes up. For the time being. I told him of what had just happened...]
----
[I stay silent for a bit, and he falls back asleep. I try to start some conversation, but he replies with...]
Sakuya: Agrias.
Alice: What? Agrias? Agrias Oaks?
Sakuya: Yes... Agrias Oaks. I met her in the supermarket...
Alice: What was she doing at the supermarket?
Sakuya: ...she... she was in the frozen meat section. I met her there at the frozen meat section... but she's a vegetarian...!
Alice: Agrias is a vegetarian?
Sakuya: At least I think so. Agrias... Agrias is pretty.
Alice: I think Agrias is pretty too. What do you like about Agrias?
Sakuya: Her pony tail.
Alice: Her pony tail?
Sakuya: It's pretty. Very pretty.
Alice: I like her armor.
Sakuya: Yes... it's... nice armor. [pause] Why did... the guy have to open the door with his head?
Alice: Why did he do that?
Sakuya: He said... "move aside! I have to open the door..." and then bashes his head into the door to open it.
Alice: Why did he open the door?
Sakuya: [ignores question] ... Now I see... a guy... this guy with a weird tongue. He's got a piercing on his eyebrow. He's looking at a digital map. He's sitting there, looking really creepy.
Alice: A digital map?
Sakuya: [ignores question] The other row... is full of a bunch of girls that he kidnapped or something. He's not feeding them food or water. That's terrible.
Alice: That's terrible!
Sakuya: What... why did that guy in a chicken suit burst into the door? He's... wearing super short shorts. Eugh. [noise of disgust]
Alice: A chicken suit?
Sakuya: Oh, I get it. His name is Plasma Man. [pause] No... wait. Why are there suddenly ninjas running across the bridges? Why ninjas? [incredulous tone] What does that have to do with the plot?
Alice: The plot?
Sakuya: Oh... a big truck came. With three big guns at the top. They go "boom, boom, boom," and they shoot to [mumbles]
Alice: They shoot to what?
Sakuya: They shoot to test the connectivity of the two games. Wait... what two games? Why am I talking about two games?
[Sakuya wakes up for the time being. I update him on what happened.]
---
[As we try to have conversation, he falls back asleep without me feeling the change.]
Alice: [Conversing about creepy things.]
Sakuya: Yeah... that guy, he is creepy; creepy guy. Why is he looking at a map? I don't know.
Alice: What's on the map?
Sakuya: It's Google Maps.
Alice: What's he looking at? Do you recognize it?
Sakuya: No.
Alice: Is it a touch screen?
Sakuya: It's a... it's not a touch screen. It's like a hologram TV. [mumble] ... white ipod. He's touching it. He... has a funny hand. It's a metal hand thing.
Alice: A metal hand thing?
Sakuya: [ignores question] Now there's... a church. A church with a robot face.
Alice: A robot face?
Sakuya: A robot face.
Alice: What kind of church is it?
Sakuya: It's a Gothic church.
Alice: ...where did Agrias go?
Sakuya: [pause] Where... is Agrias? Agrias... I'll go up the escalators to try to find her. I'm... I'm in a subway? I'm in a subway. Why am I in a subway? [pause] I'll go up the escalators anyway, to find Agrias.
Alice: Did you find her?
Sakuya: ...Is that Agrias? I'm not sure. Agrias is wearing a frilly dress. A blue frilly dress. It's... very pretty.
Alice: She's not wearing any armor?
Sakuya: She looks like PC98 Alice. Except she doesn't have the hair of PC98 Alice. She has Agrias's hair. It's the same color as well. [pause] I went up the escalator, and she's this girl in the garden... like hedges.
Alice: Hetches? What's that? [I couldn't hear him clearly.]
Sakuya: You know, mazes and garden. Hedges. [pause] I just... looked up for a second and the moon is there. It's a crescent moon. It's very pretty. [pause] ...the moon is red. It's also a crescent. It's very thin. I better put on my sunglasses. ...Why ... Why am I putting on my sunglasses? Hmm...?
[I wanted to ask about whether or not it was the Lunarians replacing the moon again, but unfortunately... he wakes up again for the time being.]
---
[I update him on the situation, and try talking about something else, but can't find anything to talk about.]
Alice: Puppies dressed as kittens.
Sakuya: Puppies dressed as cats.
Alice: Puppies dressed as cats.
Sakuya: Puppies dressed as cats.
[In which... the late hour and repetitive nature of our conversation allows him to fall back to sleep...]
Alice: Puppies.
Sakuya: ...dressed... as... cats.
Alice: Puppies.
Sakuya: ...dressed... as... cats.
Alice: Puppies.
Sakuya: ...dressed... as... cats.
Alice: Hovercrafts.
Sakuya: ...dressed... as... cats.
Alice: Puppies.
Sakuya: ...dressed... as... cats.
Alice: Cats.
Sakuya: ...dressed... as... hovercrafts.
Alice: Dogs.
Sakuya: ...dressed... as... cats.
Alice: Puppies.
Sakuya: ...dressed... as... cats.
Alice: Hovercrafts.
Sakuya: ...dressed... what... what color hovercrafts?
Alice: [taken aback] ... Um, red. [My car, Shanghai.]
Sakuya: So they're red, right?
Alice: (He's asking ME a question?) Umm... yes, red. Why?
Sakuya: Because you told me they were red, they are red right?
Alice: Red. They're red.
Sakuya: Does that make them go faster?
Alice: [thinking about ricerockets] No, the little stickers on the side do.
Sakuya: Huh... so they lied to me.
Alice: Who did?
Sakuya: [ignores question] ...Did you ever watch Wall-E?
Alice: Yes.
Sakuya: You know Eve [He pronounced it Eva] right?
Alice: Yes.
Sakuya: What do you think Eve were to be like if she had drills for hands?
Alice: She'd... be good at digging. [I tried not to laugh at how silly that was.]
Sakuya: She'd be RPG.
Alice: An RPG? (A game?)
Sakuya: Yeah, a rocket-propelled grenade.
Alice: A... rocket... what? [I was fumbling to reply on Twitter and writing these notes down.]
Sakuya: No, you silly, an RPG, a rocket-propelled grenade, don't you know? [incredulous tone]
Alice: Why an RPG?
Sakuya: I... don't know, I actually don't know. [pause] You know how there are zombies?
Alice: Zombies?
Sakuya: Yeah. And... we have like books, so do you think they could be zombie books?
Alice: I guess so.
Sakuya: I wonder if zombie books bite.
Alice: Who would they bite?
Sakuya: People? [pause] That's weird, I just went into an underground cave and came to a clearing... and I found Agrias again.
Alice: That's good!
Sakuya: ...and she's wearing that pretty blue dress; it looks really pretty. She's... tied up; there's a wooden post, just one. Tied her with down ropes.
Alice: Why is she tied up?
Sakuya: [ignores] There's... an umbrella.
Alice: An umbrella?
Sakuya: What's that called. Kogasa. Kogasa is there. [pause] I like Kogasa.
[I later found out he was trying to say "karakasa."]
Alice: Me too.
Sakuya: I want to give Kogasa a hug. Can I give Kogasa a hug?
Alice: Yes.
Sakuya: I won't, she scared me.
Alice: Why?
Sakuya: [I didn't really understand him.] Won't you scare me? I want to hug her though. Hmm... Humm... Kogasa has some very nice legs, I like her legs.
Alice: (...this better not go in some strange direction.) Yes, very nice legs.
Sakuya: [pause] Alice is there too. She looks really sad.
Alice: Sad?
Sakuya: Yeah. Alice... why are you so sad?
Alice: Why is Alice sad?
Sakuya: I don't know, she won't answer me.
Alice: Is Alice crying?
Sakuya: She's not crying. But her face looks really downcast. Alice is sad. I don't like it when Alice is sad. [sounds very sincere. A pause.] Why is the water going, why is the water going into the drain, I don't know why...
Alice: Where is the water going?
Sakuya: Not sure. [pause] I don't know if I want to find out.
Alice: What happened to Alice?
Sakuya: ...Alice...! Where is Alice...!? Oh... she's sitting down. She looks really sad. That makes me feel really sad. [sniffing noise] She looks really sad. [sad voice] I don't know why. That doesn't make me happy at all. [almost sounds like crying]
Alice: It's okay. Alice isn't sad.
Sakuya: She looks so sad.
Alice: She's happy now that you're there. That's why she's not sad.
Sakuya: [thinking about it] Yeah. I guess. [pause] My leg hurts.
Alice: Are you okay?
Sakuya: Yeah, it's just my leg hurts. Oh, I see. I see. There's a train. I was wondering why four people were sitting at the window! There was a train. Oh...
Alice: A train?
Sakuya: Yeah, it's like, modern train.
Alice: Is it a Shinkansen?
Sakuya: [deep thought] I don't know what that is.
Alice: Where is Alice?
Sakuya: I don't know, I lost Alice. I'm going to go find Alice. I found... not Alice. I found Sanae.
Alice: What is she doing?
Sakuya: Lying on the floor really still. I don't know why, that's not pretty, I don't want to go near her. I gotta go home.
Alice: Home?
Sakuya: I gotta go check on my mail. [large sigh] It's cold. Ahh. Ahh!! It's cold!!
[It was so cold that Sakuya woke up.]
---
Alice: So... that's what happened.
Sakuya: Oh... man. I must have been thinking about the "sedating, lawn" thing for Sanae. What's a Shinkansen?
Alice: Bullet train.
---
Essentially the best and worst day for Sakuya? iPad came out.

January 27, 2010

Motorbike.

[beginning of new IM window]
---
Yuuka Kazami says: skype now?
Yuuka Kazami says: fuck it im too tired
Yuuka Kazami says: goodnight
Alice Margatroid says: um ok
Yuuka Kazami says: CONFUSION IS MY BLOOD
Yuuka Kazami says: INDECISIVENESS IS MY BODY
Alice Margatroid says: etc rest of speech
Yuuka Kazami says: Hello Alice.M
Alice Margatroid says: Hello
Yuuka Kazami says: p.s the m stnds for masoGAY
Yuuka Kazami says: bye
Alice Margatroid says: bye

January 26, 2010

Yuuka logs off immediately after, not even waiting for my reply.

Yuuka Kazami says: what happen every time i get on you and everyone dissppears when i leave everyone has a party ffff goodnight

January 24, 2010

Never forget.

IkuNagae: @AliceMargatroid Yes, absolutely. Alice, I love you and I cannot hide it anymore.
---
IkuNagae: @AliceMargatroid I will kill Yuuka and then we can be together forever. We will run away to exotic lands.
---
IkuNagae: @AliceMargatroid I will sing "World is Mine: Another" to you.
---
IkuNagae: @AliceMargatroid I wil profess my love to you at a later date.
---
IkuNagae: @AliceMargatroid I love you, usa~
---
IkuNagae: @AliceMargatroid Stay out of my head.
IkuNagae: @AliceMargatroid U haven't gotten drunk in a while. Don't pretend like this is normal.
-------------
IkuNagae: @AliceMargatroid You're never going to let me forget that, are you?
(No. Here, have a better reminder. I made a post just for you.)

January 23, 2010

Nicest in Gensokyo

Marisa: I wanted to draw on his face
Alice: that is so harmless
Alice: i have been saying all sorts of shit to him and you just
Alice: want to draw on his face lmao

January 22, 2010

paraphrased

[Voice Call]
Yuuka Kazami says: How do you pronounce
Yuuka Kazami says: Sakura?
Alice Margatroid says: Okay, hear this closely...
Alice Margatroid says: Shakira.
Yuuka Kazami says: Really?
Alice Margatroid says: Yes.
Alice Margatroid says: Shakira.
Yuuka Kazami says: Shakira. Am I doing this right?
Alice Margatroid says: HAHA, you're so stupid, like as if it's really "Shakira"!!!!!
Yuuka Kazami says: FFFFFFFFFFFFF

January 22, 2010

ON TO EX-STAGE...

Alice Margatroid says: you are his ex?
Sakuya Izayoi says: Apparently
Alice Margatroid says: oh................
Alice Margatroid says: i'm glad that
Alice Margatroid says: you broke up with him
Alice Margatroid says: i am sure
Alice Margatroid says: you are glad too

January 20, 2010

熊

AliceMargatroid: @Walfas Penny is harassing me!
Walfas: @AliceMargatroid Oh. Did you know that bears are mammals of the family Ursidae, classified as caniforms, or doglike carnivoran?
AliceMargatroid: @Walfas I knew that, but how is this going to help me and this Penny harassing me thing...
Walfas: By being educated about bears, you can use what you have learned to appreciate them and be motivated to conserve forests!
AliceMargatroid: @Walfas Did you know I live a forest? Did you know that there's a certain bear that is not allowed in my forest?
Walfas: @AliceMargatroid is it Koa-kuma?
---
Walfas: @AliceMargatroid Koala-kuma

January 17, 2010

Test.

Twitter test.